“The moments between your milestones are not filler.” -Nelou Keramati
Goal-setting for someone with a chronic illness can seem like a waste of time. How do we ever make it when our bodies are constantly knocking us ten steps back? I have always been a crazy person. I LOVE to schedule. I love to use a planner, and a phone calendar, and a wall calendar.... yes, the first step is admitting your problem.
SET BOUNDARIES
Setting boundaries is for my own safety. I am guilty of setting myself on the line, then pile driving myself over it full speed. I have found that turning down opportunities that I know I cannot handle is a chore. I so many times have had something planned or an invitation was received that has just made me miserable. While setting boundaries I know that I will be better off in the long run. While today I feel fabulous and my be able to push myself a tad bit more than usual, I'm not guaranteed in two hours or next week that my body can tolerate the same push.I learned to listen to my body and slow down , even when I don't want to.
LET GO OF SHAME
Shame is a dirty monster. When I first got ill I was so ashamed of it. I suddenly wasn't my "normal" me. The attempt to hide it spiraled me into isolation. Though isolation grew, I was standing out for all of the wrong reasons. Masks. Tubes. Canes. The signs that something was wrong was there, but boy I just couldn't admit it. The shame I was feeling was not something neutral, but something that was hurting my psyche. Was I depressed? I wouldn't say so. Did I feel unworthy? Did I stick out like a sore thumb? Absolutely. Through the facade of healthy "me" was the illness concealment leaking through? More like seeping. I was ashamed of the vulnerability my illnesses created in my big bad self. I have learned that my body is just dandy the way it is, scars, tubes and all. I will let shame go this year and celebrate the body that is me.
QUIT COMPARING TO HEALTHY YOU
I still to the day am struggling with comparison of my healthy self. With this comes unobtainable goals that automatically set us spoonies up for failure. I used to be able to run, hell I used to be able to just stand upright without passing out. I used to be able to party, now I am great at holding onto my bar stool and people watching. I used to.. I used too.. I used too.. just needs to stop . I am so guilty it hurts. Once you stop comparing yourself to healthy you, you know what you can achieve. When starting to make goals with chronic illness, I always aim to do smaller more obtainable goals . With this option I know I can actually achieve my goals and not feel so bad when I don't.
READ TEN BOOKS BY JUNE
This seems so silly. To most, this doesn't even fit into the blog. Remember I'm working on grace to myself and working on smaller goals. I used to read a book in a day on a slow day. No problem. This year my goal of reading ten books almost been met!Book eight is in the works people! I can say since taking the time for myself and doing something I love (reading) I find myself setting more goals in other aspects of my life. I usually tend to read fictional tales but I have found myself reading self help books, allowing myself to grow in the process.
Remember some things in our health are past our control. I know when I became septic last fall, my goals ,non recovery related, just vanished. It torn me apart. I had to constantly remind myself to show myself grace in these moments. With grace extended I have slowly been able to make small milestones a reality.
