2020- A decade for change

“Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.”

– Herman Hesse

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"New year, new me!" Sound familiar? I think I've said this every year since I was in elementary school. With a new year comes a fresh slate. A time to dedicate to new beginnings. Every year I always go with cliche resolutions. " Loose weight." "Go to the gym." "Save more." "Find a new skill." "Eat healthier." Blah blah blah.

With a new decade in front of me , I really want to commit to more than just the silly little resolutions that last until January 27th and then disappear.

A decade is a long time. Let's be honest here. This year I am challenging myself to make my resolution extend past the year. I want this year's resolution to be one for five years. Five years to a happier and healthier me.

For the next five years I will--

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1. I will rest when I need it.

I'm a busy bee. I want to clean. I want to play. I want to shop. I want to go go go. I don't know how to slow down until it's too late. My resolution is to make time for my healing. Naps are good, I repeat, naps are good. I need to let my body take a rest before it's too late and I'm up a creek without a paddle.

2. I will remember to do my treatment.

I'm a bad seed. I forget my medication. I post pone my appointments. I waive procedures I need. I try to pretend all is well. The fact is not everything is peaches and rainbows. I've accepted it. I've actually gotten better at maintaining my medication and being on top of my fluid administration. My goal for this decade is to stay on top of it. Quit refusing my medication because it's inconvenient. Quit "forgetting" my fluids because I don't want to have people see that I need treatment. I will be kind to my body. I will manage my illness fairly. I will do my best to keep my body well.

3. I will be upfront and honest with ya'll.

Look chronic illness isn't glamorous. There is some really uncomfortable topics. There are things that will make you. Some things will make you queasy. But I'm done hiding. The point of Chronically Leu was to get chronic illnesses some spot light to unknown disease processes. I want to be transparent. Let's get into the nitty gritty. Let's talk about the uncomfortable conversations. Let's just be real!

4. Be an advocate

So often in the chronic illness community our voices are silenced. I remember for four long years I was told it was all in my head. Once something is said over and over again you start to believe it. No one wanted to help me. I don't want anyone else to have to go through what I did. Awareness is needed in the medical community of these rare illnesses. We need to take a stand against the "psych" assumption of symptoms. Information is powerful to put into someone's hands. Advocacy by strength, empowering someone to fight for themselves. Even if its advocacy though a text message, a simple message of hope, I want everyone to know you're not alone.

5. I will be apologetically me.

Being real can be tough. Like many posts before I always try to pretend I'm okay, and that all is good. Life can suck y'all. I'm over playing the card. I will be me. I will be messy. I will be loud. I will be a hand full. I will be kind. I will love fiercely. I will be the best damn advocate I can be for myself and others. Over are the days of trying to fit into a mold for some one else's approval. I will be Rachel Paige. I will just be me.

What is your new years resolution? Drop it in the comments below and let me know. I would love to follow up with them in six months. Let's hold each other accountable with bettering ourselves. ❤